whether I do or not; gots
to make the most of each day
It’s
a storm brewing outside so the cats are dashing around crazily, wanting to go
outside, but I live in front of an old quarry and I’m no fool – you let a black
cat out right before a giant storm next to an abandoned quarry with old
buildings, that how magical realms get unlocked that live in the thin veil between
visible and metaphysical. And to be honest, it’s too early in the week for all
that. I can’t be wandering off dealing with magical realms on a fuckin’ Monday.
A
rare moment of sleeping in this morning, with strong storms last night that
made this old house rattle along with the thunder, but fell asleep with the fan
in the window blowing in teasing glimpses of fall. Stayed overcast this morning
long enough to cut the warming southern earth’s humid broiler oven effect to
let me lay wrapped up in a top sheet, bare ass naked, chasing the cool spots in
the cheap cotton, until the digital clock had four numbers, not three. Turned
it face down so work ethic guilt didn’t kick in, and laid there another twenty
minutes, cyber phone in the other room (on purpose), until the waves of “better
do this” started crashing against my chill. But still gotta say, for the most
part, it’s been a day of lounge, as the creator intended, not just on Sundays
but all days. Not sure why we fucked that one up so badly. Still gotta do
laundry, and cut some grass, but then again don’t really “gotta” do either, so
probably won’t.
Hey
man, let’s take it easy. Fuck the police, the politics, the politicians, the
news, fuck people who worry about that shit so much they jump in your face
about some shit that ain’t here or there. I ain’t saying let’s not do the work
but saying let’s stop pretending your grandstanding is the actual work when it
ain’t nothing more than another wannabe boss trying to set an agenda to outline
a bunch of shit your hands will never actually touch. Systems always end up
crushing folks, that’s just how it ends up being. Sledgehammers will never
become dysfunctional though. Scythes either, though they do lose their edge.
A few years back, at
first, my center kid was bummed I actually listened to Lana Del Ray, because dads aren’t
supposed to listen to shit their kids are listening to. Takes the edge out of
it. But then they got mad at me because Lana Del Ray was a fascist, or some
shit. I don’t know. It’s all too much to keep up with; I just play music and
sometimes I like it but mostly I hate it, which is why I like to point out what
I like on here. I don’t ever dance really, not in front of other people,
because I always felt I had bad rhythm. Family members used to make fun of how
I walked, because it wasn’t white enough, and then when I danced, I realized it
was just flopping my body around so I got self-conscious about how my arms
flopped, because that seemed to be the part of my gait that wasn’t white enough.
Who the fuck knows? Now, I shuck a little dance from time to time around my
kids or girlfriend, and I do elaborate spinning mambas holding the cats if a
good cumbia song comes on in the middle of the day. But I ain’t dancing in
front of nobody I don’t know too fucking well.
Working
up a long-winded intro to issue 12 of my Southern Gothicc Futurist zine about
gentrification, specifically in Richmond, and ‘90s era punk rockers’ direct
involvement. That’s gonna be issue 12. Just about done with an all Top Tens
issue that’ll be issue 11. I send them out in pairs to supporters of my
patreon, and in fact just sent out issues 9 and 10 recently (or am working on
it still). You can get those, zines only, direct instead of joining the
patreon, $10 by Venmo (@ravenmack23) or Cashapp ($ravenmack23). Mark it with
emojis as friends, because you know. Apologies to XL Middleton for hijacking
his “Gentched Up” song to sell some zines, but it’s all related, somehow.
Everything’s relative. And related. So what’s up cousin?
Wow,
there are so many experts on Middle Eastern policy, and Afghanistan, and
Lebanon, and really everything today. You all should learn the valuable lesson
of Shutting The Fuck Up. US Imperialism and dogmatic conservative Islam neither
benefit the average person struggling to survive. And if you think the late
American Empire hellscape is bad here, please consider the fact we have it
amazingly comfortable by Global Southern standards. So again, please practice
Shutting The Fuck Up. Practice it daily, and often each day. It’s very
beneficial to your environment, whether IRL or extremely online.
Whenever
Morray is blasting out of somebody’s car, it just makes me want to disappear
for four days into a Carolina del Norte oblivion, checking out a car show or
some drag races on a Saturday, looking for a good gas station pupuseria,
hopefully hitting a train yard somewhere within an hour’s radius of Rocky
Mount, and contemplating how great it would be to go to the beach but knowing I
can’t actually afford to stay there and it’s white as fuck too, which is always
the worst parts of North Carolina. Shout out to whoever did that Thelonious
Monk mural in downtown Rocky Mount; I believe it’s magic. We need one like that
in Hamlet for John Coltrane too, and fuck it, on the way home might as well
have one in Danville for Clarence 13x too, "for the culture" - whatever the fuck that means at his played out point.
Sitting
in a traffic jam in an old ass beater, temperature gauge bouncing like a club
jam is playing, hoping it’s just the thermostat not something worse, running
the heater on high to expel that overheating, windows down, wondering if you
should pull off or say fuck it and push it ‘til it blows. $500 vehicles in an
American society that doesn’t trust anything than five figures.