In the summer, I’d call it foggy brain, but it’s cold as fuck so it feels more like mush brain. The thoughts don’t chop through as cleanly, and get hung up on the briars of memory or fear or delusion or shit man I don’t even know. In periods like this, I try to be chill to myself and just survive the sludge. We expect too much from ourselves sometimes, especially those of us who make a habit of handling way too much because we never could trust others to come through with solid support. You get to a point where you depend on yourself to be impossibly solid, inhumanely solid. It ain’t sustainable at a forever pace. So when it all turns to sludge and the ability to plan much less do gets mushy, fuck it man, just ride it out. Most of what you think you need to do, you don’t need to do. Maintain the minimum, and rest. Not just not doing stuff but worried about it anyways idleness, but deep lean into it rest. Sink into the covers and let the mush envelope you. It’ll clear out. It always does.
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